


A Time to Keep Silence

by ToriColourBastia (orphan_account)



Series: Half of My Heart: A Collection of Jeanmarco Drabbles [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drabble, M/M, Titan!marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1863561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ToriColourBastia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco tries to keep his past as a titan shifter a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time to Keep Silence

**Author's Note:**

> This may as well be called "Re:In Five Years", to be honest.
> 
> This is for prompt 185: "A Time to Keep Silence". The masterlist can be found [here](http://audreymgonzalez.com/2011/master-list-of-prompts/).

We spend the night after graduation discussing our plans. Well, he does most of the discussing. Over the years, he’s spent a great deal of time formulating a sort of… future I guess everyone has, really. They have a lot to think about. Which part of the army they’ll go into, how far up the ranks they think they’ll go, that sort of thing. We’ve been spending so much time training for an unknown future, I wouldn’t blame the other trainees for thinking about these types of things.

So we spend a bit of time in my bunk after dinner and Jean tells me about his daydreams.

I’d planned to tell him about the whole ordeal earlier, once we were in private and away from anyone who could listen. I’d come to accept my fate. Everyone’s noticed my feelings for Jean by now and it’s gotten to the point where denying what’s going to happen would just be denying Jean as well. And honestly, I’d do more harm than good for him.

But the way his face lights up when he talks about the guture… I’ve honestly never seen him so happy before. And it’s at that very moment that I realise how much my death is going to ruin him.

I’d always considered it an inevitability. The other titan shifters knew it was a mistake that I’d been chosen. They believed so fervently what they’d been taught, no amount of experience could change something like that. It had always been different for me, though. I was raised by humans and I’d always believed the good outweighed the evil in them. I’d never be able to do something like that, ensure the destruction of a people I had faith in. But I also couldn’t side against the people who took me in after I’d been abandoned. I couldn’t side against my own sister.

Death was inevitable at this point. All the cards were in play and this would probably be one of the last times we’d be alone.

I want to tell him my secrets. I want to tell him everything I know.

But I know it would hurt him. He’s smiling so much now, telling me all about his hopes and what he thinks the future will be. The last thing I want to do is watch the smile fade away. And I know it’s selfish, and I’m sure he’ll find out eventually. But I’ll be gone by then and I don’t want to see the betrayed look on his face when he realises he’d been in love with the enemy. It’s selfish, I know, but I just can’t do it.

It’s around this point in my thoughts where I realise my eyes are blurry and tears are starting to stream down my cheeks. Part of me hopes he won’t notice, but I know for a fact that’s not possible.

“Marco? Are you alright?” Jean asks, gently laying a hand on my shoulder.

But I keep my mouth shut. I don’t even have anything to tell him. it’s just me crying into my hands. Not even sobbing, just silently weeping. I’m not even quite sure who I’m weeping for. Maybe it was for Jean who never realised he loved the thing he feared and hated the most. Maybe it was for me and the fact that I'd be separated from the man I loved soon. Maybe it was for the future we’d never have, no matter how much Jean dreamed and wanted.

Though, if I had to guess, I think it was the realisation that I wasn’t the only thing that was going to die.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my writing, you can find me at [i-cant-make-witty-urls](http://i-cant-make-witty-urls.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. I take requests, so feel free to throw me some ideas.


End file.
